When it all goes south

When it all goes south…Most know what this mean. This is the time we possibly dread, the times we don’t look forward to as this could be the one moment that could change everything.

When it all goes south for me includes many things, but usually centers around work situations and events. And yes I mean events as in a total preteen or adolescent meltdown.

I am sure you mothers and fathers out there have experienced them before and know exactly what I am talking about. Now imagine this child has mental illnesses, going through chemical withdrawals, behavioral issues and educational deficiencies. Yes, these explain most of my boys here at work.

All it takes is one imperfect moment for it all to go south. A temper tantrum, an unjust action, an untrue insult, or even a disproportionate slight. All it takes it one little thing to make the whole day be ruined, for me for them, for the rest of the house.





The sex talk

Ever had to have the sex talk with a kid/teenager? I have and it was not pretty. I’m saying, because I don’t have kids. I had to have this talk with a client from work. He had questions, apparently he thought I had the answers. Ummmm….no!

But I did anyways. I would rather be uncomfortable for a few minutes with someone else’s kid, then pay for their mistakes and watch their lives unravel. The awkwardness was palpable from both sides of the conversation. I couldn’t imagine how this kid got up the courage to ask a woman he has only known for a few months to give him information on sex and anatomy. Ack!

I wont go into detail about his questions, but lets just say he was very misinformed!.How misinformed you ask? Well, lets just say he thought girls only had two holes in their nether regions.

Looking back on it I laugh and laugh. Knowing I have this to look forward to with my own kids eventually. Or Will I get to skip this class because of sex-ed in schools. Maybe I will, or maybe I will just get the incredible precocious child my mother always said I deserved after the hell I put her through.


I am writing this post today because my boys are talking about STI’s in group today. They are currently talking about the myths vs. truths of STI’s. Which I know will only lead to more questions later and lots of giggling tonight. Instead of boys it will be like a girly sleepover here tonight.

Sicker than a…

Wow, first great weekend here in MN and what am I doing? I am sitting on my couch watching Netflix with toilet paper stuck up my nose. Why you ask?

Cause I am sick! I know, I know, you’re thinking why is she complaining? Well, cause I never get sick, like maybe once a year, so when I do I feel miserable. But I cant take time off work, I just tend to miss the fun part of the weekend. No BBQ, birthday party or Mothers Day celebration for this girl.

The hubby has been gone all day, since I got home from work. Two parties for him to go to, but not me, cause I am sick and I don’t want to get other peoples children sick, that would be just rude. But I am also bored, I can only watch so much Netflix before I need a break. I don’t know how my hubby can binge watch so much. I wanna claw my eyes out and I have only been watching since 3:30pm, stopped about an hour ago with multiple mini-breaks in between.

I hate being sick, I wanna go out an visit people. I haven’t seen my own mother in what seems forever. Not that I could see her if I was healthy, she has strep and an ear infection!

Okay, okay I am done ranting! I am gonna go take an anti-histamine and pass out, hopefully not at the same time. Wish me luck!


why I am here

Sitting here at work for another hour and wondering why I am blogging and who in their right mind would read my stuff. Probably no one, hopefully someone. Besides my mom! I love to write, not sure about what, not quite sure how to do this tagging thing yet. Wondering what am I ever going to write about.

I am a female in my mid 30’s, married, no kids. I work with with adolescent boys in a drug treatment group home. I am with my boys for 10 hours a day, four days a week. Plus my second job in retail. I live in the suburbs of St. Paul, MN.

Some of my passions include, ancient history, archaeology, fashion, homeopathic, paranormal anything, reading books (digital or paper), WRITING, watching movies and spending time with my beautiful husband and niece. There are probably more that I cannot think of right at this moment as I tend to have a bit of ADD when it comes to my hobbies. I will try a new hobby, every couple of months or so and then drop it like a hot bag of poo. My husband probably finds this very irritating; mainly because I never let any of the previous stuff of hobbies leave the house, I just collect and collect. I have tried many different hobbies including: arm-knitting, paper-crafting, baby mobile making, natural beauty products, drawing, painting, writing, jewelry making; and many others I don’t remember.

Some of my distastes can include but not always (dependent on my mood): people who repetitively ask the same question because they are not listening, disrespect to LEO’s and elders, bugs, snakes, bad grammar, loogey hawkers; and I am sure many more.

I peeked ahead at some of the assignments! I know bad girl! But, I am already thinking about a weekly feature, maybe something about the books I read or the people I meet. Not sure yet, maybe a possible combination of the two? A book I am reading and  a person I have met who could fit into my book? HaHa. Who knows/ I sure as hell don’t.

I am thinking I should cut this short now as it is getting a but long winded and sometimes I have to tell myself to shut the hell up or get back to work as it is time to do bed checks here at the group home.

See everyone tomorrow with the next assignment!


The worst part about…

The worst part about…what? everyday I wonder what the hell I am doing, do I love my job, no, but I do enjoy it. Most of the times my job consists of breathing in and out and reminding myself I would not like prison. There are days I wonder if I was supposed to do something different with my life. What was it that was planned for me, if anything?

I have been trying to put my degree to good use for a couple years now, but to very little advancement and very little monetary gain. As the pay in social services is deplorable. There is very little reward to my job, most days I feel like a glorified babysitter. There are many days when I ask myself if this is what I want to be doing everyday for the rest of my life…and I think “oh, hell no!!” I dread going to work most days, and am in constant fear that something I said will be taken out of context or misconstrued. Most days I get frustrated lately because I am not being heard, whether by a client or staff. Most of the time it is by a client, they either talk over me, ignore me, or plain just don’t care what I have to say. I should just shut up and let them make their own mistakes. However on the other hand, the rest of my clients will suffer because one client does not want to listen. It aggravates me so much.

I often wonder what else I can do with my life. I want to be something I am just not sure what. Should I just go back to school and get my Master’s, but in what? I have no idea what I could be interested in. i thought I was interested in Criminal Justice and as such got my degree in it. But turns out, a CJ BA is bullshit, and not very useful.

I have always wanted to write, write what, I have no idea, but I want to write. I always have, I just have no idea what to write about. I have no stories or voices running round in my head. No ideas. I just love to write, I wish I could be a writer. I know everyone would probably say write about anything or write what you know. But, I know retail and dealing with teenage boys, and that is about it. Not sure what I could do with that. Something funny? Something serious? Something dramatic?

I have always preferred getting a writing prompt and taking it from there. I struggle with having ideas of my own. I have also wondered about how to come up with an idea of my own, something true to me and my passions. But my passions dont exist, or at least I haven’t found them yet.

My passions: ancient history, archaeology, paranormal anything, fashion for others, organizing, giving advice, cleaning, homeopathic’s. And that might be it, not sure but I have to go to work now.

2 days

Two days is a long time to wait for something, especially when you know it will all be gone in no time again. I really hate waiting and yet, it will be satisfying for the two days to be up and for things to be finished. The waiting game, what a joke, its no game, its normal for us plebeian lower middle class folk. So much of my time is spent waiting lately.Wait for this, wait for that. When does the waiting stop and the doing begin? Sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to experience things in a faster sequence of events or even more frequently.